Insomnia can turn you into a real-life zombie. You drag yourself through the day like a sack of potatoes, with only a faint glimmer of consciousness. If you’re going to be a zombie, you might as well do it right. Here are a few tips on how to embrace your inner zombie:

  • Shuffle everywhere. Walk like you’re sleepwalking. Make sure your arms hang limply at your sides, and don’t move them when you walk. This will give you that classic zombie shuffle.
  • Stare vacantly at people. When you’re talking to someone, stare straight through them like they’re not even there. This will make them feel like they’re talking to the undead.
  • Moan occasionally. Let out a low, mournful moan every now and then. This will remind people that you’re a zombie and not just a really tired person.
  • Eat brains. Okay, maybe not literally. But if someone offers you some brains (or any other food, really), go for it. Zombies aren’t picky eaters.
  • Sleep in a coffin. If you’re really committed to the zombie lifestyle, consider sleeping in a coffin. It’ll give you that authentic undead feel.

Remember, being a zombie isn’t so bad. Sure, you might not be able to sleep, but at least you’re not alone in your undeadness. But if you’re still not sure that being a zombie really is for you–call us first before jumping into the land of the un-living. You’ll be happy you dead (I mean did!)! Rest My Best is here for you!